Inspiration Through Pain

In addition to Migraine, I have also been diagnosed with Cluster Headache and Fibromyalgia. So basically, I am in pain every single hour of every single day.  There are few good treatments and no cure for any of these diseases. I may have good management of one problem only to have another one flare up. It is exhausting to live in this body.

Today was a particularly rough day.

A few days ago, the right side of my latissiumus dorsi (back muscle) became irritated, causing muscle spasms across the entire right side of my back, spreading into my neck, shoulder, and right arm. Painful is putting in mildly. I am used to working through pain, adjusting my activity level, and managing expectations. So the pain itself didn’t really get me down, but the medicines I needed were a problem. They were too sedating to permit clear thinking, but not strong enough to prevent pain from disrupting my sleep. Sleep deprived, experiencing pain levels at about an 8 on a 10-point scale, and with limited mobility I struggled to find a comfortable position all night and day.

Obviously, I wasn’t in good shape to be writing.

So it’s now dark outside and the rest of the world is preparing for sleep. All those meds are finally wearing off. A TENS unit and heating pad are working well to keep the pain down to a dull roar (about 6/10). With a functional level of pain and a clear head, I started thinking about today’s suggestion to write about inspiration. While my first ideas were okay, I’d written about them quite a bit and didn’t think I had anything new to say on those subjects. So I surfed the web, checking Facebook and Twitter, making small (and mindless) adjustments to my website, and chatted a few times over the phone with my husband who is traveling for work today.

Without any effort, inspiration appeared.

I’d been listening to Pandora for about an hour when a new song started playing. The lyrics intrigued me, so I looked it up on YouTube. That’s when I realized I’d found my inspiration for today in Superheroes by The Script.

Certain lyrics stood out…

Turn the pain into power…That’s me all right. It’s how I’ve survived to tell my story.
When you’ve been fighting for it all your life…I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t fighting all this pain.

That’s how a superhero learns to fly….Other people see this in me, but all I see is a girl just trying to survive.

She’s got lions in her heart
A fire in her soul
‘Cause they’ve taken too much hits
Taking blow by blow
Now light a match, stand back, watch them explode

Yeah, I guess that is me.

A few days ago I accompanied a friend to the ER. She was dealing with an out-of-control migraine attack and had been treated poorly the last time she needed help at the ER. She was worried and needed a friend to stand up for her. I was happy to help and itching for a fight if she wasn’t cared for properly.

While I was gone, my daughter noticed my unusual absence and asked my husband, “Where’s mom?”

He replied, “At the ER with a friend who’s having a bad migraine.”

“Is the building still standing?” she chuckled.

Her dad laughed with her, “That depends on whether the doctors do what your mom says.”

Yes, I am that fierce.

There are lions in my heart and a fire in my soul.

I dare you to light a match.

This article is part of the July 2016 Ultimate Blog Challenge