Playing the hand you are dealt

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt with.
You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” – Cheryl Strayed

You may have noticed that the tone of my writing has changed. There are a couple of reasons for that. First, this year’s theme is Rule Your Migraine. How in the world am I supposed to be anything but a hard-ass fighter with that kind of challenge? There’s not a lot of room for a “woe is me” attitude with a theme like that. Besides, pity parties have never suited me well. I didn’t start getting better until I got pissed off first. Fighting mad, I grabbed both migraine and cluster headache by the balls and twisted…HARD.

Also, I’m in the middle of cluster headache cycle. Getting hit in the eye with level 9/10 pain spikes several times a day brings out the cursing sailor bitch in me. Even without this cluster cycle, I’m in a different place in my journey. I don’t deny that chronic migraine and other headache disorders aren’t frequently so disabling that they devastate lives. I’ve been through that crucible and may face it again one day. If it happens, it won’t mean that I stopped ruling my headache disorders. It will just be time for some new dirty fighting moves. This is MY LIFE and I won’t go down without one hell of a fight.

It’s much easier to bitch about how unfair life is, complaining about all the people who “just don’t get it” and wallowing in personal misery. That doesn’t take a lot of energy. Real change takes sustained, concerted effort. We’ve been doing this awareness month for five years and all that hard work is starting to pay off. Since 2012, I’ve seen a lot of changes in how migraine and other headache disorders are perceived. Plus, the increased awareness has led to some significant donations for research.

Sure, there will always be hard-headed, ignorant Neanderthals who lack a shred of compassion for anyone. Those trolls are not worth my time or effort. If you are surrounded by people like this, then it’s long past time for you to ditch them and find better quality humans with which to socialize.

“But it’s my husband/boyfriend/mother/boss/best friend!” you may complain. Listen, it doesn’t matter who they are. No one should ever treat another person that badly. Stand up to that crap. Put a stop to it or walk away. You’ll never be healthy, physically or emotionally, when surrounded by toxic people. If you struggle with the self-respect needed to make a move, then please, get help from someone who can help you see how valuable you really are.

When you finally get angry enough,
you will discover a warrior within
who has the strength to put
migraine and the trolls in their place.