Taking things for granted
Living with migraines can be a weighty curse some days. Lately I’ve been looking at the benefits of living with migraines. Granted, in the throes of a level 8 attack, I’m not so grateful. That’s when I get grouchy, depressed, and view the world through a clouded lens of pain that sucks the joy right out of my life. However, on the days when my head clears and the pain subsides, I begin to see the gifts once again.
I’ve learned to appreciate the mundane, those things that make up everyday life, the things that most people take for granted like preparing a meal, washing the dishes, even changing a light bulb. These can be insurmountable when in the grip of an attack. Being able to accomplish simple tasks and enjoy simple pleasures take on a great deal of significance when you recognize how long it has been since you were even able to fry an egg or fold a towel. Going for a walk or sitting on the porch is much more precious to those who are often unable to enjoy them.
A sense of relief fills my soul when I can accomplish or enjoy something simple that has been denied by migraines. I drink in the moment, knowing how precious each one is.
Today I was able to air out out a futon mattress, change a few light bulbs, and make a few phone calls. In the middle of changing light bulbs (the ones I hadn’t noticed were burned out because I had been forced to keep the lights off), I was overcome with a sense of childlike joy and the desire to dance in celebration. It’s such a simple thing, but you and I both know what a huge accomplishment it really was. I danced for joy around the room to the music within my soul, not because of a light bulb, but because of what it represents — normal life returning, if even for a moment.
I will stop and enjoy these moments because I know that one day, probably not far in the future, I will have to ignore the dirt, turn of the lights, and embrace the pain. So I take this life moment by moment, learning to ride the waves rather than swim against the tide.